This is how to kill bad habits with mindfulness

This is how to kill bad habits with mindfulnessThis is how to kill bad habits with mindfulnessWe all struggle with bad habits. Resisting them is hard. Changing them feels impossible.Now there are plenty of tricksfrom standard psychology on how to deal withbad habits.Butwhat if there was a way that really helped you understand yurself better? Something that wasnt just a lifehack, but actually led to a fuller way of living life?Yeah,thats a big fluffy promise. But this solution still comes from hard scientific research.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreJudson Brewer is thedirector of the Therapeutic Neuroscience Laboratory at the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.Hes also the author ofThe Craving Mind From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break badeanstalt Habits.He does a lot of work with addiction psychiatry - and lets face it - thats what bad habits are. Addictions. He founded the Yale Therapeutic Neuroscience Clinic and wanted to help people conquer one of the toughest bad habits smoking.What tool did he use? It was that mindfulness thing everyone is always blabbing about.He was hoping mindfulnesscould match the results of the gold standard for treating cigarette addiction, a system called Freedom From Smoking.Butmindfulness didnt match itIt crushed it.FromThe Craving MindWhen the data came back from our statisticians, the participants in the mindfulness training group had quit at twice the rate of the Freedom From Smoking group. Better yet, nearly all mindfulness participants had stayed quit, while many of those in the other group had lost ground, yielding a fivefold difference between the twoWere often told that you cant get rid of ahabit you can only replace it. Heck, even Ive said that.But mindfulnessdidnt replacesmoking with anythingOur da ta showed that mindfulness decoupled this link between craving and smoking.So hes really on to something here. Something you can use to beat your bad habits. (And something I can use to stop checkingInstagramwhile writing blog posts.) So hows it work?First, we gotta ask the question nobody usually bothers to ask why do we havebad habits in the first place?Bad Habits Are Coping, Not FixingYou feel stressed. Or anxious. Or sad. Whatever. Point is, youre feelingnot-good. Naturally, you want to feel good. So youdo something that has made youfeel good in the past.Maybe its checking Facebook, maybe its meth. Same difference to your brain.FromThe Craving MindWe each have stress buttons that get pushed, and what they are largely depends on how we have learned, in a reward-dependent manner, to cope (or not cope) with lifeIts the standard habit modelTrigger, Behavior, Reward.And after you do it enough times, its a reflex. Youre instinctively reacting, not thoughtfully responding. Youre on aut opilot. Youre a puppet.But the real issue with bad habits is while they scratch the itch, they dont fix the underlying problem. Being worried about your bills might lead you to check Facebook, but that doesnt make Mark Zuckerberg pay your mortgage.In fact, bad habitsnot only dont fix your problems, they often make them worse.FromThe Craving MindWe have conditioned ourselves to deal with stress in ways that ultimately perpetuate it rather than release us from it.And checking Facebook is actually a perfect example.FromThe Craving MindLees research kollektiv found that a preference for online social interaction correlated with deficient mood regulation and negative outcomes such as a diminished sense of self-worth and increased social withdrawal. Let me say that again online social interaction increased social withdrawal. People obsessively went on Facebook to feel better, yet afterward felt worse.But since youre reacting instinctively, yourarely notice your bad habit is actually makin g the problem worse. And thats where mindfulness comes innoticing.Noticing isat the heart of mindfulness. But whatismindfulness?Dont worry, Ill make it simplePay Attention. Dont Judge.When youre stressed and engage in a bad habit, youre usually not paying attention. And if you do pay attention, youre probably frustrated. Frustrated that you feel this way. Frustrated that youre doing something you know is bad.Take a step back. Pay attention. Dont judge.FromThe Craving Mind(Mindfulness is) The awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. As Stephen Batchelor recently wrote, this definition points toward a human capability of learning how to stabilize attention and dwell in a lucid space of non-reactive awareness.By really watching what you do, noticing how you feel, you can abflug torealize the bad habit isnt helping fix the problem. You dont really feel any better. And that realization is key. Thats what will break the cycle.Fr omThe Craving MindSeeing what we really get from our habits helps us understand them on a deeper level, know it in our bones, without needing to control or force ourselves to hold back from smoking. This awareness is what mindfulness is all about seeing clearly what happens when we get caught up in our behaviors and then becoming viscerally disenchanted. Over time, as we learn to see more and more clearly the results of our actions, we let go of old habits and form new ones. The paradox here is that mindfulness is just about being interested in, and getting close and personal with, what is happening in our bodies and minds. It is really this willingness to turn toward our experience rather than to try to make our unpleasant cravings go away as quickly as possible.Cravings fade with time - but youusually dont pay attention to that part. When the internet goes out in your house youre initially frustrated but then you find something else to do.But when youimmediately give in to bad ha bits, youreinforce them. The Dark Side of The Force gets stronger.But that leads to the million dollar question how do youcope with that awful discomfort until the craving fades?(To learn the 4 rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, clickhere.)Youcan use the same four-step mindfulness process that helped people quit smoking. Brewercalls it RAIN Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Note. Heres how it works1 RecognizeYoure feeling stressed. Youre robotically headed towardhabit-modeRecognize it. And dont you even think about rationalizing itOh, but I justhappento feel like checking Instagram for the fiftiethtime today.No. No, you dont just feel like it. Realize what youre doing. Youre trying to copewith some discomfort by engaging in your bad habit. Recognize the craving.This next part is trickier2 AcceptAccept it.That doesnt mean give in. Just accept that the craving is there.Dont beat yourself upfor wanting it. Dont try to ignore it, or try to distract yourself, or fight it.The good nachrichten is you dont have to doanythingjust yet.The bad news is its hard to do nothing when youre uncomfortable and want to scratch that itch.Brewer recommends acknowledging your acceptance in a small, active way. Nod your head or think here we go.Now heres where things get interesting3 InvestigateNormally you deal with bad habits by trying to get away from them. Mindfulness does the exact opposite. Get curious.As the craving grows, notice how you feel. Specifically.FromThe Craving MindInvestigateit as it builds. Do this by asking, What does my body feel like right now? Dont go looking. See what arises most prominently. Let it come to you.The key here is nonidentification. Remember you are not your thoughts. Your brain thinks all kinds of crazy stuff. That doesnt mean those thoughtsareyou. If you broke your arm, youd say my arm is broken not I am broken.So investigate yourfeelings as if you were looking atan animal in a zoo. Check it out. Watch things unfold.Pay attention.A nd heres how we make the itch go away without scratching it4 NoteMake mental notes of yourfeelings. Use a single word or a short phrase to put a label on what you feel.FromThe Craving MindFinally, notethe experience as you follow it. Keep it simple by using short phrases or single words. For example thinking, restlessness in the stomach, rising sensation, burning, etc. Follow it until it completely subsides. If you get distracted, return to the investigation by repeating the question, what does my body feel like right now? See if you can ride it until it is completely gone.Sounds sillybut its actually extremely powerful. Youre using some bleeding-edge neuroscience here. Noting reduces the impact of emotions.ViaThe Upward Spiralin one MRI study, appropriately titled Putting Feelings into Words participants viewed pictures of people with emotional facial expressions. Predictably, each participants amygdala activated to the emotions in the picture. But when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.Dont dodge the feelings. Investigate them and note them. The craving will subside. Itll be hard at first, but with time it will float away just like every thought - good or bad - eventually does.Checking Facebook isnt going to solve your problems. But now that the craving is gone, you can focus on what will.(To learn how to stop checking your phone, clickhere.)Alright, mindfulness maven, weve learned a lot. Lets round it up and get the answer tohow this all leads to a better lifeSum UpHeres how mindfulness can kill bad habitsBad habits are coping, not fixing Checking Facebook didnt pay your bills. But it did make you jealous of your friends new car.Pay attention. Dont judge Notice what youre feeling. Being worried about being worried just makes you super-worried.Recognize Dealing with something is quite har d if you dont realize theres something.Accept Did you really think I was going to recommend denial? Cmon. Seriously.Investigate You are not your thoughts or feelings. They are things that are there. Examine them.Note When you give a feeling a name, your brain calms down. (Unless that name is Godzilla.)Okay, this all leads to a very simple two-step formula for a good, mindful lifeFeelinggood? Pay attention.Feelingbad? Pay attention.When you feel good and payattention to it, its a wonderful, happiness-boosting thing calledsavoring. You really appreciate the good moments instead of taking them for granted.When you feel bad and pay attention to it, you dont succumb to bad habits. You can realize where the feeling is coming from. You can learn about yourself. And then do something that will fix the problem.Most of us are pretty good at enjoying the happy feelings. But theres plenty to learn from the bad feelings.Dont distract yourself or engage in bad habits to avoid them.Life is rich an d varied and has much to teach you.Dont ignore half of it.Join over 295,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.This article first appeared on Bakadesuyo.comYou might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people